About Tasty Scat

In a study released Monday the helps explain the immense popularity of so-called “scat porn” in Japan, the Journal of the American Medical Association reports findings that indicate Japanese excrement to be “far tastier” than similar effluvium worldwide. The succulent “ass brownies” produced in Japan exceed those of American in not only flavor and consistency, but also texture and aroma.

“In a survey of over 600 consumers of human feces we found that a stunning 96% enjoyed Japanese ‘brown-eye loaf’ the best,” offered Dr. Kurt Vale of JAMA. “This is compensating for regional preferences that tend towards locally produced ’stink-mud pies’ and ’skunk burgers’. A trend was quickly established pointing towards Japan as the leading producer of consumer-quality shit. Of course we backed our non-scientific surveys up with hard research, running a number of tests on samples.”

Head lab researched Doctor Albert Monroe was inititially skeptical that Japanese feces would prove empirically superior to American or German excrement.

We ran a breakdown on the chemical composition first,” explained Dr. Monroe. “The results showed high-quantities of fructose, cinnamon, ginger and unprocessed teriyaki. The sulfur content was approximately ten-percent lower in Japanese fecal matter than in competing ‘colon cakes’. This composition is what lends Japanese ‘butt delights’ their unique spicy aroma and hearty taste. They truly arouse the palate as well as the deviant libido.”

We also ran them through a gas-spectrometer,” continued Monroe. “We quickly discovered that these ‘refried sushi rolls’ were delightful, as capricious to the senses as a summer zephyr.”

NY Times restaurant critic Lance Gardenia was brought in for a taste testing of the various regionally processed cuisines, rendering a final non-scientific but respected opinion on the subject.

“It all tasted like poop,” moaned a physically ill Gardenia to reporters. “I must have gulped down about six-pounds of that shit and it all tasted like goddamn turds to me. Not that I had ever actually tasted crap before this, except at Français Le Baiser, where I swear the chef runs his crepes between his ass-cheeks a few times before serving. Zero golden spoons, all around.”

Shit, so, what actually is it?

>We excrete about 4 tonnes of shit in a lifetime (3 to 6 ounces a day), but most of us know almost nothing about it. In normal faeces, about 75% is just water. Another 12½% is dead bacteria (bacteria, essential for digestion, breeds rapidly, so you have to get rid of it or you’d swell up). The final 12½% is made up of indigestible bits of food (fats, proteins, minerals) and debris from dead cells, especially blood cells. Plus some tiny amounts of extremely strong chemicals, notably Skatole - which makes shit smell shitty, and Bilirubin - which helps destroy old blood cells, and is what makes shit brown (whatever you’ve eaten). If you don’t mind the whiff of Skatole, and so long as you’re not carrying any nasty parasites or virus, then shit is perfectly safe to eat (though you’re safest eating your own). It is said to taste like ripe Camembert … which makes you think.

Posted on May 11th, 2007 by Ken
Filed under: scat slave, Piss, Lesbian, Japanese, Photos, Video, Shit